http://www2.journalnow.com/news/2010/oct/19/grilled-asparagus-closes-ar-465873/
First of all you must read the above link before reading this post...so go ahead...
How utterly excellent was that!? I mean...SERIOUSLY. It’s not very common that those outside the inner workings of the ridiculous world of food and beverage get such an unadulterated view of the putrid soft white underbelly of this business. But here it is...laid out on the beach just sunning itself and celebrating its depraved state.
Commonly everyone seems to believe that around 90% of restaurants fail within the first year. This friends is simply not true.
I could site a multitude of university and business sites that tear into this issue. But I think for now I'll just provide two...or you can just trust me. Most people who do that end up hating themselves, me, and the two guys I grew up with that mangled my views on life...but that’s a blog for another page...
http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/restfail.htm
http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/apr2007/sb20070416_296932.htm
The fact is that with the economic downturn we're sitting somewhere around a 40-60% fail rate for restaurants in the first year. The industry is quite honestly still compiling that data...and as you can see above...getting data from coked up abusive charity trained chefs, and their idiotic girlfriend/investors is quite challenge. IF they have anyone to even report such things too...privately funded outfits like this answer to no one...just like they want it.
"Fuck Yeah we do what we want! I designed that fucking window décor while I drank a Four Loco and rubbed my gums numb with some white girl!..Go DAWGS!!" - This quote is theoretical in nature...but I’m sure Darryl S. Murray might head in that general direction...oh, and here's the window. Oh...and yes, that was a knock on UGA fans.
The funny thing is that most likely 1/4 of every restaurant you eat at on a daily basis is teetering on such an outcome. Restaurants (relatively speaking) are one of the cheapest businesses to open in the nation. Cities and suburbs alike are flush with storefronts, turnkeys, and build outs just waiting for someone with a dollar and no clue. And the industry is LOADED with the coked out, drunk, lunatic fringe.
The same guy that had sex in the walk-in and then served you your crab cake benedict (If I see this on one more menu I will start carrying a loaded weapon); will be the guy running the new "best brunch in town" joint five years from now. And he will NOT BE MORE STABLE...he'll just be more desperate. And he will just want to open his own place. And his grandmother will die. And he will get his share...AND he's going to name it something much more terrible than The Grilled Asparagus....And yes that is possible.
Or perhaps....
Or maybe even...
Where does the madness END!!! I hope nowhere....
I can keep going. The point is....Thank you food industry...I love your ever roving freak show of ridiculousness. I love how much you make me go home and stare at the wall when the day is over....And just drink beer. I love how a line cook smells like cooking wine...right now...on every line in town. I love how crazy it all is...all the time. And come to think of it....I need to open a place.
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